It always bothers me (and I'm sure I'll rant about it sometime around the next tragic news story or devastating natural disaster) when people get angry with God. I've come to find that as a society we rarely speak of God, until suddenly something goes terribly wrong. Part of what we hear is "I'm praying for you"... "My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families." That's nice. It's a nice gesture. Are they actually praying, I don't know. To be totally honest, I used to say it all the time and hardly ever actually prayed. But it's a nice way to say, in so many words, that we care. But then so many people respond to these things questioning God, His existence, His motives. "Why?" "Why would God do this?" "Why would God let this happen?" "If God exists, where was He?"
The first thing that bothers me about this is the lack of responsibility we as humans take for our actions. Like all parents, God gave us life (and free will). He gave us some rules and guidelines to show us the right way, but it's totally up to us to follow them. It is totally our decision to do what is right, so why do we blame Him when one of us chooses wrong. The beauty of God is always in the aftermath. Devastation reaps kindness, generosity, love... God is present in these things.
From the time David started moving independently, I would tell him that he was "a nice boy". At a year old, he understood that concept. If he was doing something wrong I'd ask him "are you acting like a nice boy?" And he'd stop what he was doing. So I taught him to pray. Our prayers started with just thanking God... "Thank you, God, for Mommy, Daddy, David, Fiona, Mom Mom...." every once in a while he throws a random character in there... I always love listening to his prayers.
A while ago Dave asked David if he wanted another brother or sister. Once David clarified that Daddy meant an additional sibling and not a replacement for his sister, he was on board. We were expecting, but we weren't free and clear so we made no official announcement. David asked "But how do we get one?" Before my husband could speak, I shoved his foot in his mouth prematurely and replied "You have to pray to God." And so we started asking God for things during our prayers. "Thank you, God, for.... and God? Can we have a new baby?" David stopped for a second and then said, "But Mommy, if we get a new baby...we only have two carseats." So I said, "Well, we'll have to pray for that too then." So David added, "God, can we have a new baby AND a new carseat?"
So funny. So smart. So innocent and trusting. To believe me that there is a God simply because I said so. To believe me that simply asking God for a baby would create one. It's such a beautiful thing, it's a beautiful thing and a privilege to watch the manifestation of a relationship between your child and God.
Well today, David challenges me. Today marks the first time David was angry with God.
I bought David dwarf African frogs for Christmas; there were two...Bert and Ernie. About 3 weeks ago, I noticed that Ernie was mangled and clearly dead. (Good one, Bert.) I did not tell David; I figured I'd wait and see if he even noticed. Today he noticed. He was looking in the thingy and he said "Aw, my frog is dead" (The remains are no longer there, so I could not believe he understood that the frog had died.) I asked "How do you know?" He said "Because he's not there. Did God take him?" So I figured: I'm going with this, "Yes, Ernie must be with God now in Heaven." David asked "Is he at Church, can we go get him?" "No, David, we'll just have to pray for him tonight and maybe we can get a new frog." David started crying and said "But I want my frog." The first time David is affected by death; it was so sad. His little boo boo lip came out. And I said, "but aren't you glad that God gave him to us in the first place?" Then David said "Mom, we need to get our swords and chop him (meaning God) and get my frog and our Christmas tree back, because I really liked that tree." (Naturally, when we threw the tree over the fence into the woods behind our house after New Year's, David was traumatized and I told him we had to give it back to God.... so every once in a while, he asks for the tree.)
I have learned not to be angry with God, but it wasn't taught to me, it was a gradual understanding. And now, my son has his list of things that make him angry with God... the Christmas tree and the frog. How do I explain to a three year old to be grateful to God for perishable things? What do I tell him about death?
I wasn't religious about feeding the frogs, perhaps it's my fault...maybe Bert ate Ernie. Do I take responsibility and teach him how to be responsible? Or maybe I had nothing to do with it, and Bert just got angry with Ernie. I'm not teaching him about evil things yet... he's not ready for that.
But can I teach him not to be angry with God? Can I instill gratitude in him?
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