Loaves and fishes. Matthew 14:13-33
I've heard this reading time and time again. Despite the fact that my attendance to mass has not been consistent over these past 10 years or so, it seems I'm always there for this gospel message. I've taken a lot of lessons from this particular message and perhaps I'll get back to them later... for now... this time, the pastor talked about family dinner and everyone celebrating. (Naturally I felt like this was my grandfather's way of telling me to stop fighting with my husband about dinner and just cook it) but that wasn't the point this time. What strikes me and really draws me to my church community is the Pastor: he knows me. He knows the congregation. He remembers names, stories, family members, milestones; it's fascinating and refreshing and fosters an environment where one feels like they belong. Father also notices who comes to church and how often... he's not judgmental about it, but in his homily he mentioned that in the parish community there are some parishioners who do not attend church at all, some who come for the major holidays, some who come here and there and some who come every week. What I took from Father's message is that it's not necessarily our job to bring people to church or guilt them into it, but to invite them, just ask. That's what I keep hearing over and over again and I can't stop thinking about it.
I hate getting invitations. I immediately think: what else do I have to do, what will I have to do to get the kids there, will I have the money for a gift, do I have time to get a gift, etc. But there's always a feeling like... if they care enough to invite me, of course I'm going to at least try to get there. There's an honor bestowed upon you to know that this person cares enough to request your presence. It feels good to be invited. Sometimes it feels bad not to be invited.
I think about children on a playground. There's always the kid sitting by himself. But were they asked to play? Did you ask them to play? If you were the child how did it feel to be asked to play?
We all have talents... sometimes we're embarrassed or shy to display our talents, but doesn't it always feel good to be asked? My house is a mess and I know you're good at organizing.. would you help me? UM.. YES!
It's a struggle to get out of the house for me sometimes... and many times it's either because I'm either exhausted or just simply lack the motivation, but the other day my cousin sent me a text... she was overwhelmed with her house (she just moved and she's 9 months pregnant... yikes). A couple of days later she said she might need my help.. she implied that "eventually" and at my leisure she could use my help. I packed my kids up so fast, rushed over there, moved things, painted, fed my children... I felt accomplished in some kind of way... but that's my thing! I love helping and I love organizing and being able to see the difference. I was invited and I benefitted! She kept thanking me for my help, but I was grateful she invited me to help her!
A girlfriend of mine lost her dad a couple of years ago; he was really young and it was very sudden and... tragic really. She just had her first baby and before she went in, I asked her if she wanted to come to church. She didn't... but I wish she had because the gospel was about Jesus walking on water and inviting Peter to do the same. When Peter began to doubt him, he started to fall and the Lord said "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." The pastor asked us to remember that line... "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." My favorite song of all time is "You are mine" .... love that song... I've heard that song throughout my entire life and I've always loved it. I very distinctly remember where I was sitting in St. Laurence Church when the lyrics resonated with me when I was seven years old. I remember where I was sitting at my Nanny's funeral twenty years later... I remember being suddenly overwhelmed with sadness wondering and worrying about the fate of my family now that our leading lady has left us and then I heard "Do not be afraid, I am with you...." and suddenly I knew, that she hadn't left us, because she was there. My girlfriend about to deliver her baby may have already believed that her father was with her in spirit, but to hear it out loud, to feel the music through your body, you can't help but to KNOW you're not alone.
I'm a spiritual person, but I especially appreciate the silence because of this song...
"I will come to you in the silence..."
I believe in the silence I can be in my grandparents' presence again. I can talk to them.... and they are with me. I believe in the silence I am in God's presence.
"I will lift you from all your fear..."
and I find strength... in the silence... in their presence...
"You will hear my voice, I claim you as my choice, be still and know I am here...."
To be silent, is sometimes a choice.... to actively seek out silence.... but it is an invitation.... it is an invitation for the Lord, it's an invitation for whomever you need, it's an invitation for strength and peace...it's an invitation for prayer, reflection, gratitude... be silent, feel blessed, do not be afraid... you're inviting home... you're invited home.
"Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home; I love you and you are mine."
I don't sing to my children often, but often when I sing to them, I just sing that line... so that they always know how to find home... so that they always know they're loved... and that they're mine.... forever... and it is divine.
So in case my children need the invitation one day, I will pass on this faith tradition and in case they get lost, perhaps the invitation will come full circle and they'll find their way home.... or maybe it'll be your children... or you. You're all invited! I'm inviting you...
